Lark Adventures 2 (Written by Al)

Me, waking up groggily and finding a cat in my face: AHH!!!! LARK! What on earth are you doing, you crazy cat!?

Lark, staring without blinking into my eyes: Human, today is a very big day. It is Halloween and I decided what I am doing.

Me: So you woke me up at three a.m. to tell me this?

Lark: Three a.m. is supposed to be a haunting hour. I need a degree in pyrotechnics though by tonight.

Me: What did you just say? WHAT? I think I just had a hallucination. Did you say a degree in pyrotechnics? As in –

Lark: as in if you don’t look up a college that allows cats then I will leave a hair ball in your bed.

Me: Lark, Colleges normally do not take cat students… what do you need pyrotechnics for?

Lark: I am going as a sun because I figured that if I am hot enough and set a few things on fire, trick or treaters will stay away from the doorbell. Though if they got to the door bell, I don’t think they would get much farther after that anyway. I will not have my nightly naps disturbed or my midnight races against imaginary cats be intruded upon.

Me: We’ll talk about the fire in a minute, but what did you do to the doorbell?

Lark: I may or may not have rigged it to a sensory device that skirts water at all who ring it. Water is paralyzing and terrifying, everyone knows that.

Me: You mean cats know that. What about Honeybell? He loved water.

Lark: You get an odd one in every breed. J.K. Rowling said that once I think. Stop sidetracking. Where can I find a yellow beach ball?

Me: Goodnight Lark.

Lark: YOU DON’T HAVE PERMISSION!!!

Me, Picking him up and putting him off the bed.

Lark: MANHANDLING!!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!! I AM GOING TO BE A SUN!!!!!!!!!

Me: If you let me go to bed and spend Halloween in the bathroom sink like last year I will give you an extra serving of treats.

Lark: Goodnight.