Mark Borne News: Issue #3

What is it all lazy people do when they've got nothing to post, but want to post something anyways? That's right, they post something pointless! Like a news article that doesn't even have a whole lot of news! (Here's something cringe-worthy: What did the News Article say when it realized its friends were disorganized? "In-Formation!")

First order of business today is advertising. Spitfire's "Hunt for Bacon: Part 1" has been finished and submitted, and now waits for Kyra Organa's "Death of a Trash Can" poem. I feel betting for Spitfire may have been a mistake; Kyra has great ambition for her poem, and while it might fail miserably, I doubt my luck would allow that.

Updates for next year! I will be dual-enrolling next year, and on top of that, I'm still hoping to get a job before graduating from high school, so with those two factors in play, I'm going to have a very busy year after Summer Break. My solution? Throughout the summer, I will work on writing a LOT and spread those posts out as much as possible, and hopefully I still have enough time to actually write more. I'm honestly not sure how it's gonna go, but I'm preparing. (Yeah, I know. There's no reason I can't just write something up today, but I have a perfectly cringy excuse: Writer's Block.)

Riddle of the day (should be easy for those familiar with "The Hobbit"): A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid. What am I?

Question of the day: Are grammar rules really grammar rules if a thousand words break grammar rules?

In Issue #2, I asked if a shark eats a fish, who cares? Read some of my favorite comments!

Kyra Organa: "I'm pretty sure the fish cares."

Lucy J: "Does anyone really care about that, besides my cats?"

Marysa Writes: "The man fishing for a fish eaten by a shark."

Theriddlemaster: "My poor mlp heart thought of the Wonderbolts :')"

...I still need clarification on Riddle's comment.

Comments

  1. HAHAHAHA! ROFL That terrible joke was actually hilarious!

    Riddlemaster, we need you! I thought that Riddle was somethig like friendship, but then I realized how dumb that was and gave up hope. Help me Riddlemaster, you're my only hope!

    Those thousand words must be teenagers going thrugh their rebellious stage. Don't worry, they'll grow out of it. XD

    I think riddle was referring to Spitfire's name, which coincidently is also the name of a My Little Pony character

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    1. Exactly :D

      You should just ask Lady Knight, I bet she knows lol (On the other hand, if you wanted to chance waiting for Riddle, go ahead. She's not very active at all. Like, her comment on my last News Issue was the first sign I had gotten from her in a few months. I don't blame her, I'm not very active on her blog, right now)

      Lol I was more referencing the fact that there's the "I Before E" rule, and there are TONS of words that disobey that rule. There are plenty other rules, too, I can promise you, no English grammar rule is always followed. Punctuation, sure, but grammar? No. Lol

      Spitfire made that comment, once :/ Thanks for clearing that up, Kyra :D

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    2. I already know the answer (rage google search(, but i want to see who else knows.

      Did you know the rhyme "I before E, except after C" has 21X more words that break the rules than words that pply to it? (things you find when trying to google search your childhood rhyme)

      You're welcome. :)

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    3. I memorized that one. I actually used to think it didn't make much sense, but I read it aloud to my sister once when I read her the Riddle Contest between Bilbo and Smeagle, and then I burst out laughing because it suddenly hit me. My sister gave me a look that said I was crazy :P

      Yep! :D They actually changed it in the last several years to, "I before E, except after C, or when it says A, as in Neighbor or Weigh", which probably eliminates many of the ones that break the rule, but it still doesn't cover them all -shrug-

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    4. I have a love/hate relationship with riddles.


      That's what the second half is! like weird. Weird is weird. XD

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    5. My relationship with riddles is more of an "Unhealthy Obsession". I've exhausted too many jokes, and they're now hard for me to find, so I turned to riddles and they're awesome. My favorite, actually, is still tied between two of my cousin's riddles (Idk if he made them or not, I've just never found them anywhere, and I know he told me them)

      Lol Weird xD

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    6. I love riddles, but ssometimes they frustrate me.

      Weird is right!

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    7. Time change has definitely taken a toll on you :P
      First that typo, and now this...

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    8. Undersstatement of the year! :P
      Thisss is getting out of hand!

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    9. that is the story of my life. XD
      Ever wonder why they call it a face palm and not a face high five?

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    10. High fives celebrate; facepalms are closer to mourning or regret

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    11. Who ever set the standards on what is a celebratory gesture and what is a mournful action?
      THE FACE-HIGHFIVE REVOLUTION BEGINS NOW!!!!!!

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    12. The general public did, Kyra lol. And good luck starting a revolution when no one wants to join it :P

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    13. Stupid general public...
      JOIN ME BRETHREN (and sistren) AND WE WILL CHANGE HISTORY!

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    14. -crickets sound in distance-

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    15. You may laugh now, but when will reality dawn upon you? When will you stand up? FELLOW READERS! SUPPORT FACE-HIGHFIVES!

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    16. -facepalm- I'm not laughing, if I was, you wouldn't be able to hear the crickets

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    17. You're laughing on the inside. Also, if anyone else reads this, they'll probably laugh, so I'm just covering myself.
      STOP THE INJUSTICE AGAINST FACE-HIGHFIVES!

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    18. There's no injustice against it, it just didn't exist lol. Besides, I know I'm not exactly "traditional", but I really think it'd be better to just stick with what we know: facepalms

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    19. You are the injustice against face-highfives!

      *snickers* I'm sorry, this is just too funny! Your reaction is priceless

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    20. -shrug- What can I say? I'm great at entertaining people and distracting them from school

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    21. But at the same time, I'm distracting YOU from school as well, so it's like a sword duel where we both sliced off each others dominant hand. XD

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    22. Actually, I've already finished. I'm doing a math quiz, but it's because I'm working ahead

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    23. The difference is you are still working on today's school, undoubtedly, so you still NEED to do school. I'm doing extra, so at any moment I could choose to put it off to tomorrow and it won't matter, because I don't even need it done today, anyhow. Your school is a requirement, mine is more of an activity, thus I can afford distractions, and you really shouldn't be distracted. I have made my point, and I am going to shut up now lol

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    24. lol. true. Goodbye! FACE-HIGHFIVER OUT!

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    26. Lol Ask literally anyone who reads comments regularly and they'll agree that nothing on this blog stays relevant for long xD

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  2. Replies
    1. ...I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm desperate for funny comments lol

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    2. That doesn't change the fact that you're funny, it just means your funny comments are more likely to get up there -shrug-
      I mostly just didn't consider whether or not it was worth it, I just posted it up. I prob would have decided the poor fisherman needed legal representation

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    3. I'm too tired to come up with a good response lol.

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    4. Good because I'm too tired to be logical for longer than 3-4 comments xD

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    5. I personally think your comment was hilarious. XD I wish I came up with it.

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  3. As a hobbit fan, I have to say what an EGG-slent joke. Did you recently watch the Hobbit?

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    1. Lol No, I haven't seen it recently. I watched "An Unexpected Journey" about a thousand times, but the other two ones I only watched once shortly after they came out

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    2. -face highfive- That CRACKED me up, Lady Knight.

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    3. I've got a lot of strange egg pun ideas, including the usage of "shell" and "fried", but they've become so SCRAMBLED in my brain that I can't sort out how to use them :/

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    4. These puns aren't going to be OVER EASY :)

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    5. I hope you aren't on your last EGGS for this pun war

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    6. First off, you're struggling more than I am, second off, it's unfair to copy Lady Knight's pun and reuse it. Your pun is simply a SHELL, with no humor whatsoever to those who do more than just glance at it

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    7. technically, i was using eggs in a different way. let's just say I'm not BEATEN easily.

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    8. Eh, those two are good, but no, I was eating. In a bit, I'll have a better one, but I'm gonna have to take care of dishes soon so I'm not gonna focus on it yet

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    9. Just returning to say you can'y CRACK my resolve. I'll beat you before FRY-day! :D

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    10. Sorry. I've been busy, so I had to take a BREAK from your blog.

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    11. Your brain must be the size of a YOKE if you think you've been taking a break lol

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    12. Now that's a little EGG-streme. I was out of town all weekend. (also, that YOKE one wasn't a pun, but a comparitive phrase)

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    13. That was an 8 day gap between one comment and another; furthermore, you've been commenting in many other places on my blog since then. Therefore, not exactly break :) (Well, in fairness, you've repeated several puns several times, so I've already won. I won on the 12th

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    14. I also totally forgot about this. And preparing for more trips. I wouldn't say any of us won. i was using egg in different ways, but you stopped puns all together. XD
      OMELETT'n this slide.

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    15. You definitely would have beaten me, but again, you reused the same pun, even if it was in a different way :)

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    16. Hey, I WHISKED it. At least try to continue pun'n. I WILL NEVER BACK DOWN XD

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    17. Yep, risked it and failed :D And I would, but I kept punning for as long as I could, I'm out of puns :P

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    18. You SHELLebrated too soon. I WIN!!!! BOILS well that ends well.

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    19. Lol Nope. Think about it:

      1) You stopped using your own original work. You stole Lady Grace's pun. That means you didn't come up with your own original pun, therefore the equivalent of not saying a pun in general.

      2) You vanished for more than a week, and after your "I was out of town" excuse failed, you changed it to, "Well, I also forgot." (Hint, if you want to escape something, use your best excuse first)

      Therefore, I have won, because I responded in a timely manner and all my puns were my own original work, except the Yoke one, but by that time, my victory was guaranteed, so I didn't really care :)

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    20. 1) Lady grace said EGGS-cellent, i said last EGGS and EGG-streme. If that's what logic you're going for, you used Yoke, which originally my pun.


      2) Both are true. I was out of town and forgot.


      This is FOWL play, if you are asking me. Let's FARM an agreement and believe ourselves to be the winner.

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    21. 1) She said, "As a hobbit fan, I have to say what an EGG-slent joke. Did you recently watch the Hobbit?" Scroll up if you don't believe me. Besides, it's the same word, even if you made it plural. Thus, I still beat you

      2) Both may be true, but since you've always been fond of making excuses, since your first excuse is invalid, all of them are invalid because I cease to listen to them. Plus, you weren't out of town when you stopped commenting here, thus why your first excuse is invalid. (That's why I gave you the idea of using your best excuse first; I use excuses too much, too, so I always use my best one first and I have a higher success rate, especially since my best excuse usually makes a fair amount of sense, and is relevant)

      Fowl and Farm are not egg puns; and you just clued me into the fact that I won based off how you suggested a compromise. Kyra the Great never compromises, thus you must be trying to salvage what you can of this contest :D

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    22. 1) i wasn't trying to be deceptive. Huh, her's is singular.

      2) I was packing before the trip, finishing up school, looking at the itenerary, and many other things. All my excuses are true. I was on a trip, packing for the trip, recovering from sleep deprivtion, busy preparing for another vacation from school, ect.

      Foul is a bird. Egg is a unborn baby bird. Farm is where you get eggs,
      Yes, I'm great and no, i'm not loosing. I just know how stubborn you are and i'm just trying to bring closure to this. XD

      Good idea, "Kyra the Great". I like the ring of that. (;

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    23. 1) You still just made hers plural, thus it's not your own original pun -shrug-

      2) You're not addressing the point that the excuses are thus invalid because your first one was invalid -shrug-. Then again, the last time I used that against you, you didn't address it either. Ig that means it's a valid point lol

      Indirect connections, but they still aren't EGG puns. They're RELATED to eggs, but they don't have to do with actual eggs. Farms can be used for more than just eggs, and fowl applies to birds in general, not just eggs, therefore they don't count as egg puns. Don't deny that if I had made a farm pun, you would have shot it down instantly lol

      There is no closure, there's you admitting I won the pun contest xD It's a contest for who can come up with egg puns for the longest period of time, and that contest becomes infinite if you allow the ability to repeat puns -shrug- Trust me, the word "beaten" could be used over and over for hundreds of posts and still be relevant, so it's gotta be an original pun contest or we know it has to do with who outlasts who, and you don't outlast me very often. That's why it's original pun, so it's creativity, and since I'm not great at puns, you stand a decent chance. Or stood a decent chance, before you spoiled it lol

      Don't forget the sarcasm -nods- :D

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    24. 1) It was an accident

      2) Sorry. It's like i suddenly have a life, so dozens of things are affecting my avaliablity. XD


      Oh. Thought it was egg/chicken puns.

      No closure? Okay, then. None of us win. >:)
      (Next time we should spell out the rules. You never mentioned the repetition rule and if using the word in a completely differnent circumstance.







      I choose to ignore sarcasm when it benefits me. XD

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    25. 1) Even then, you repeated that pun yet again later on, as well as doing "Break" a second time. Actually, you use that one twice in a row -shrugs again-

      2) Excuses, excuses...-sighs-

      Hmm...and if it was egg/chicken, don't you think I would have said, "I won't be a CHICKEN this time"? Plus, there's no sign anything but eggs and results of cooking eggs were allowed -shrug-

      In which case you're withdrawing, but you can't control me, so I'm left alone, and thus the winner :D And since when have we allowed repetition in our past contests? You should have figured that one out, easily!

      I caught onto that fact xD

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  4. Riddle me this-
    Those who have it least don’t know that they have it. Those who have it most wish they had less of it, but not too little or none at all. What is it?

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  5. Your right! The riddler can’t kill you now. Yeaaa!

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